This Is My Story.

I'm sitting at my desk on a beautiful Thursday morning, I've got my second cup of coffee in hand, my candle burning, and I'm thinking about how thankful I am to be alive.


It's crazy to imagine that 2011 is coming to a close, and in just 3 short days, we'll be welcoming the New Year in celebration. While celebrating Christmas by the beach this past weekend, I got to reflect on everything that's happened to me this year. There's nothing more peaceful than walks down the pier and sitting by the water...and just thinking. There's something so serene about the ocean in the morning, the calmness and beauty of the gentle waves...you just can't help but think about it all.

This year has truly been one of the best years I've ever had. I've experienced so many amazing things that 2 years ago, I never imagined could have been possible. There is a night and day difference between my life now and then. It's something that I've never really talked about on here, but I was suddenly inspired to give my story.


Ever since I was 11, I had a chronic medical illness that kept me from experiencing life as a normal kid. It was diagnosed and re-diagnosed multiple times, and in the end, the doctors were still not sure what it was. Basically, I was involuntarily unable to hold down any type of food. This would go on for months on end, and got to the point where I had no strength and could barely get out of bed. I wasn't able to go to traditional school so I had to start homeschooling, which was a really challenging adjustment. Throughout a 4 year period of time, I missed out on a lot of things that I used to enjoy, like show choir and competitions, football games, dances, and my friends. I didn't get to experience a lot that I wished I had, and there was definitely a bit of depression because of it. I sat there wishing I could be like everyone one else, and wondered WHY this was happening. Like the Jack Johnson song goes, I was there "Sitting, Waiting, Wishing" to be normal. At that point in my life, I never would have imagined that I'd be competing to be Miss California Teen USA two years later, happy and healthy.


I believe that everything happens for a reason. I feel that what I went through gave me more strength and confidence than I had before. It's amazing for me to look back and see the difference between then and now. I used to ask why this was happening to me, and now I ask myself, what if it HADN'T happened to me? I try to imagine how different my current life would be if I hadn't gone through that. Chances are it wouldn't be the same. I'm in a much better place than I was before, with a better mindset and a happier outlook. Even though it was one of the most difficult things I've had to deal with, I'm somewhat glad that I went through it and overcame it, because it makes me appreciate my life so much more. That's why this pageant has meant more to me than just a crown and a sash. It has given me the opportunity to experience life differently than I would have otherwise. It has allowed me to have fun and to learn about life and my individuality. I've discovered things about myself, such as what I want to do with my life in the near future and an idea of where I want it all to lead. My confidence level has risen drastically. I've encountered countless people that have inspired me to strive for the best. I've gained so many great friends and had experiences with them that have impacted my life. But most of all, I'm making memories that I won't ever forget. It makes me excited to imagine the future and think that I'll be able to look back at the memories and say, "Wow, 16 was a good year."


Every one of us has a story. We've all been handed situations that we didn't know how to handle, but with faith and courage, we managed to make it through. Life isn't easy, but everyday I'm learning that it's meant to be enjoyed. The uncertainty is what makes it thrilling, the struggles make us strong, the hard times teach us to appreciate the good times, and our experiences are what make us who we become. Our story started the day we were born, and up until the last page, we'll be writing it as we go. I can't wait to see what the future holds and what God has in store for me. Thank you 2011 for treating me so well. On January 1st, we'll be turning the page in our book, getting set for our new chapter in life: 2012, I'm ready for you. :)

xoxo T.

P.S.
My new chapter is going to have a great start - the pageant is only 8 days away :)